So my ex wife hasn't paid any child support and currently owes over $10,000. She hasn't tried to see the kids in the past year and a half. She blocks me on everything. Anytime I have papers sent to a house that she lives at one of her roommates tells them that she doesn't live there. She quit her job as soon as an income withholding.Order was taking place two years ago. Court say I can't do anything until she has initially served. I paid for the app been verified, i've hired a process server to find her and serve her. I've tried serving her any address possible that she could live at. I've asked the judge for public notification and was denied. Is my only option here just to wait until she gets her stuff together?
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1CrEQB6xnT/
I'm truly sorry you're dealing with someone who is actively gaming the system, as the emotional toll of wanting to provide for your children while being blocked at every turn is immense.
To answer your question directly: **Your only option is not simply to wait.** While being unable to serve her has put the brakes on your current contempt case, family courts are generally not powerless against a party who is willfully avoiding responsibility. You still have several legal avenues to explore that don't require her immediate cooperation.
Here is a breakdown of your situation and the specific legal strategies you can pursue.
### ⚖️ Why Are You at This Impasse?
To enforce a court order for child support or to hold someone in contempt, the court must have what's called "personal jurisdiction" over your ex-wife. This means she must be properly notified of the legal action against her—usually through personal service. Her strategy of quitting her job and having roommates deny her residency is a classic tactic to dodge that formal notice, and the judge's denial of public notification suggests they want more proof of your efforts before granting that exceptional step.
### 💡 Legal Strategies to Force Her Hand
Even without serving her with a contempt motion, you can ask the court to take action based on her clear pattern of avoidance. Many courts have specific procedures to handle a parent who is "evading service."
* **Legal Motion for Alternative Service**: Since the judge denied service by publication, your attorney can file a specific **Motion for Alternative Service based on evasion**. This motion would ask the judge to permit service via a method that is harder for her to block, such as service by certified mail to her last known address, service on a "person of suitable age and discretion" at her workplace or home, or even service via email or social media if her patterns of use can be proven. The key is to present a detailed log of all your failed attempts. This log is the most powerful evidence you have to prove she is willfully avoiding service.
* **Criminal Non-Support Charges**: This is a more serious option. Because she owes over $10,000 and has willfully quit her job to avoid payment, her actions may constitute a crime in many jurisdictions. In several U.S. states, failure to pay child support with an arrearage of more than twelve months of payments can be a felony. You can ask your local prosecutor's office or district attorney to file criminal non-support charges. The advantage here is that the state pursues her, and an arrest warrant can be issued, which can be acted upon if she is ever located by law enforcement.
* **Request a Bench Warrant**: In many states, if a non-paying parent is found to be in contempt of court and is evading service, the court can issue a **bench warrant** for their arrest. Your lawyer can file a motion directly asking for this, based on evidence of her willful evasion and the significant arrearage.
* **Pursue Income Imputation**: The fact that she quit her job as soon as a wage garnishment order was issued is, in the eyes of the law, "voluntary underemployment." You can file a separate motion to **modify the child support order based on her earning capacity, not her actual income**. A judge can "impute" an income to her based on her work history, education, and ability to work. This would establish a new, higher support obligation, and the growing arrears will be a powerful hammer if she ever re-enters the workforce or comes into money.
* **EScheatment (Escheatment) of Funds**: While a long shot, you can request the court to issue a "writ of execution" to financial institutions where you have reason to believe she has accounts, even without her current address. If she has any joint accounts or accounts you know of, this can be a way to seize funds.
* **Leverage the Federal Parent Locator Service (FPLS)**: Don't give up on finding her location. While you may not have direct access, your child support caseworker can use the FPLS which can track her through tax filings, employment data (if she ever works), and other federal records. You should be in constant contact with your caseworker about this.
### 📝 What You Should Do Right Now
1. **Hire an Experienced Family Law Attorney**: If you don't have one, find an attorney who specializes in high-conflict child support enforcement. They know how to craft the legal arguments for alternative service, bench warrants, and income imputation, and they can navigate the court's refusal for service by publication.
2. **Contact Your Local Prosecutor's Office**: Schedule a meeting to present your case for criminal non-support. Bring your documentation.
3. **Stay Meticulous**: Keep a log of every call, text, email, and blocked communication. Document every attempt you have made or asked a process server to make. This paper trail is your ammunition.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. The system is slow, but the law is on the side of the child. Your persistence will pay off. I am truly sorry for the stress this is causing you and your children.
---
For more support and strategies, you can join our community at: **https://www.facebook.com/groups/894126436968337/**