So I just got off the phone with the Child Support lawyer. She told me that they could not get a hold of one of my Baby Momma’s to get their income and tax information from her. she told me that another Baby Momma has still been on county assistance for 10 years……..
And I think the same as for my other Baby Momma. And when I asked the lawyer, “why don’t the mothers have to work since it’s been 10 years and they haven’t had one single job” she told me that they cannot make someone on government assistance get a job……..
so I asked “well if I was on government assistance, would I have to pay Child Support?” and they said I still would have too. If I’m not working then and I’m on government assistance. I can’t find a job. How can I pay Child Support they said that I would have to find a job so why is it that mothers don’t have to work they can go 10-15 years without having a single job, but as a father , we can’t go six months without a job. What’s even more crazy is that we’ve been going over this for about four years of them sending the documents I’m signing the documents and sending them back and then they’re telling me that they can’t get a hold of the mothers so they’re not gonna change the Child Support and let me add that both mothers have been keeping me from my children for years. We’ve gone to be going back-and-forth to court for years and they constantly do the same thing and they never get in Trouble. When will this end? When will this change is the same thing day after day year after year and it’s not just happening and happening to me it’s happening there so many men around the world and I don’t know how this broker system is still intact.
I hear your frustration, and what you're describing is a nightmare that plays out for far too many fathers. When one parent can hide for years while the other is held to a completely different standard, it feels like the system has abandoned all sense of fairness. You're right to be angry, and you're right to ask why this happens.
Let's break it down, because there are real reasons for what's happening, and knowing them is the first step to fighting back.
### 🤔 Why Is She Not in Trouble?
The lawyer gave you a simplified answer, but the core truth is this: **the court cannot force someone without income to pay.** The system focuses on collecting money that actually exists. The state's priority is getting you the support you are owed, not punishing the mother for being a low-income recipient of public assistance.
However, what the lawyer didn't explain is that **she does have work requirements** under the **Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF)** program. TANF recipients are required to participate in work activities. Moreover, she must cooperate with child support enforcement by providing her income and tax information. If she willfully fails to do this, she can face serious consequences for what is known as "willful failure to provide support." If they are already on TANF, their cooperation with child support is mandatory, and failure to do so can lead to a reduction or closure of their benefits.
### 💰 Why Do You Have to Pay When You're Unemployed?
This is the most infuriating part for many fathers. The law's answer is that **the obligation does not automatically stop when your income does**. To change the amount you're required to pay, you need a new court order to modify your support.
However, there is a crucial shield for fathers who are genuinely unemployed. A court can "impute" income to you, meaning it calculates support based on what you *could* be earning, not what you actually are. But the court cannot impute income to a parent under a general suspicion of unemployment. It must make a specific finding that the parent is **"voluntarily unemployed"**. If you can prove your unemployment is truly involuntary—that you are actively and diligently looking for work but cannot find a job—the court cannot legally impute income to you.
If you are unemployed and cannot find work, you must return to court to seek a modification of your support order. You can also be ordered to seek employment as a condition of your support obligation. An arrearage order is not subject to administrative review, meaning you cannot simply stop paying. You must take legal action.
### ⚖️ How You Can Fight Back
Don't let this grind you down. Here is your path forward:
1. **File a Motion to Modify Your Support Order**: Document everything. Prove you are actively searching for work. This is your shield against an imputed income order and can reduce your obligation.
2. **Demand Accountability**: File a motion to compel the mother to provide her financial information. If that fails, file a motion for contempt. You can also ask the court to issue a bench warrant for her arrest for evading service and failing to comply with court orders.
3. **Escalate Your Case**: Contact your local prosecutor's office to request felony nonsupport charges. A bench warrant will be issued and will appear if she is ever found.
4. **Protect Your Rights**: If you haven't already, file a motion to establish your parenting time. Her refusal to allow you to see your children is separate from child support. A court cannot deny you parenting time simply because you owe support.
5. **Leverage the Federal Parent Locator Service (FPLS)**: This service can access information from the IRS, Social Security, and other federal and state agencies. If she ever works a job that is reported to the government, the system will find her.
### 💡 The Bottom Line
The system is not designed to protect deadbeat mothers, but it is also not designed to punish struggling fathers. It is a slow, bureaucratic machine that depends on information and cooperation. Your ex-wife has learned to exploit its weaknesses.
Your fight is not just for your children. It's for every father who has been told that his pain doesn't matter. Keep fighting. Keep documenting. And never stop being the father your children deserve.
For more support and strategies, join our community at: **https://www.facebook.com/groups/894126436968337/**
